2. Feedback is negative only when you want to do harm to the person the feedback is about.
3. Feedback is given only to help change a bad behavior and/or improve.
4. One good answer to feedback is: “Thank you for trying to help me.”
5. Avoid people who don't give you feedback, those are the people not interested in helping you.
6. Feedback is not "flaming/insulting" somebody.
7. Learn to receive and give feedback. It is one of the easiest way to learn and improve.
8. When you receive feedback, you go through:
9. How do I know I’m feeling these:
10. Other symptoms might include and are not limited to:
- Aggresive behavior.
- Demotivation.
- Ignorance.
11. Levels of receiving feedback are:
12. This is a chart that showcases your level of receiving feedback. You're your own judge here.
13. The most important skill is to learn to receive feedback from peers downwards:
14. People avoid to give direct feedback or become defensive when peers give feedback because of the following reasons:
Examples of valid arguments:
- I am not experienced in that genre or I didn't do it before at all.
- I know what to be said but I don't know how to say it.
- It has to be balanced.
- I don't have any answers, I don't know what they can do about it.
- I am not good at controlling people's reaction.
Examples of excuses:
- It makes me feel bad, vulnerable or/and awkward.
- I get no benefits from it anyway.
- I only give feedback when it's about something good.
- It's pointless, people don't change anyway.
- They will disagree, I know they will.
- Others will just contradict me.
- I don't want to damage the friendship or to upset that person.
15. If you find yourself reacting defensively ask yourself the following questions:
16. After going through this process, you will realize that only your ego was hurt.
17. If you feel that feedback was too direct/blunt/aggressive or done in a unprofessional manner it is mandatory to do this exercise (conflict management/defusal):
> Common practice:
Provider of feedback: “You are always doing "this" wrong when you do "that.”
Receiver of feedback: “Are you telling me my RP is bad?”; “I don’t have to listen to you.”; ”Mind your business” or say nothing.
Provider of feedback: “Yes, you have to listen to me.”; ”Trust me, that’s true.” or say nothing.
- If conflict gets to a diffuser, it can be contained/solved. Usually it is swept under the rug by both parties.
> Best practice:
Provider of feedback: “You are always doing "this" wrong when you do "that.”
Receiver of feedback: “Are you telling me my RP is bad?”
Provider of feedback: “No, sorry that it came out like that, I wanted to say that you can improve in X aspect when doing "that".”
Receiver of feedback: “Okay, thank you, I will do it better from now on.”
- The conflict is diffused on the spot.
Additional notes:
> I shaped this in a way that fits LSRP, but these practices can be applied IRL too, especially in a professional environment.
> Thanks for reading and understanding these matters, it is extremely important for us as a community to acknowledge the idea of feedback.
> If you have any questions, don't hesitate to send me a PM or add me on Discord: Wrathaholic#5591.